Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to our guest blogger Dana. He is the blogger behind the hilariously honest blog World of Peloso. If you have never checked out his blog, you totally should, well after you read mine of course. LOL!
With father’s day fast approaching I asked him to write a guest blog for us about what dad’s really want for father’s day. So without further ado here it is, enjoy!
P.S. Feel free to leave Dana some love in the comments.
Once upon a time I wasn’t a father. Now I am. You can’t change that. Once you go ahead and get one past the goalie, you’re there fo’ eva! A wise man once said, “With great power comes great responsibility….” (Uncle Ben). That wasn’t the Rice guy….that was the Uncle Ben from Spiderman. Really that has absolutely nothing to do with this at all, it seemed prophetic and almost like something I should say when getting asked to be a guest writer on a classy blog….unlike my own… I am the outspoken, unfiltered father who blogs about his daily trots through life on worldofpeloso.com.
I have seen lots of “Top 5…” or “List of…” posts regarding various holidays, or seasons, or specific topics. This, my friends is one of them. I will give you some great gift ideas for Father’s day, from a father. Albeit an often times irrational or childish Father, I am still a Father, and damn it….I have needs too! I like to look at life from two sides of the street, the rational and the irrational. Irrationally speaking, I would like to spend lots of money, have cool lavish things and have complete disregard for responsibilities. Much like that perspective, I will also give you that approach for Father’s Day. In the event you have oodles of money and lack care and responsibility you can make selections off of that list.
First and foremost…. Dads like to cook stuff. We pride ourselves on wings, smoked meat, jerky….you name it…. Pasta? Yes that too! The vast majority of us are irrationally competitive. Our Christmas lights have to trump those of the neighbors. Our home brew has to be a higher alcohol content than our buddies. Our house has to have a way cooler “man cave” than at least ¾ of our other friends. So to say that buying a grill is a super duper idea, would definitely be not only an understatement, but it’s also just the tip of the ice berg. The other day I was introduced to what could very well be the holy grail of Grills. It is a smoker, and a grill… two in one! It works off of Pellets…..it is Wi-Fi based, so you can look into it on your cell phone from work while your meat cooks. It comes in only three different tiers, one of which is smaller and portable. The prices start at close to 400 dollars and go up to close to 2,500 dollars and they are easily worth every penny and more! Think of the conversation that the Dad in your life will have around his new grill/smoker with his boys who are working off of some two level old refurbished 50 gallon drum turned smoker. Do you think 50 gallon drum Dad can monitor his beefy glory from his smart phone while picking up more wobbly pops at the packy?!? No! I think no! It’s not friggin possible! The Dad on the receiving end of your “irrational” yet amazing gift can! You can relish in the joy of knowing your Dad is king of the BBQ pit! (You see what I did thee?? Relish?!? Ha!!) Now of course the more rational side of me, says no no dear….don’t drop 2k on meeee! That’s just dumb….we have kids….they have classes and we need to put clothes on them…blaaaa….. Just get me one of those cooking classes that seem to be cropping up all over the place! I have one in particular that I have been staring at endearingly! Coincidentally it is also one of my favorite places to purchase appliances!! They host cooking classes monthly at a sweet rate! Its anywhere between 30-60 dollars (for a couple, so yes, you too could bask in the joys of cooking with that Dad in your life!) to attend, you make a three course meal and get to eat it. Often times you get to bring some home with you as well! What better could you ask for?!? If you play your cards right at this one, you could also leave with a new refrigerator! There you have it, two options of cooking for Dad from both sides of the monetary street!
Does your Dad like a good stiff drink every now and then?!? I know I do! I am a big scotch fan. I like it old, and neat! If you aren’t a scotch drinker that means no ice…. Before you go and cast your judgmental stone from your highly fragile glass house, realize that I also like some scotch on the rocks. It’s really a case dependent/mood dependent decision that happens spur of the moment. Many scotch drinkers like a side car of water to go with it or a few drops of water mixed with their scotch to enhance flavor…. In some cases the ice will suffice. That aside a good aged scotch can be anywhere from 60 to 600 dollars depending on how much you love your favorite Dad but the dollar amount is by no means what matters here and that is the gods honest truth! What does matter, if you want to drop a couple bills on Dad is that you send him to a winery, or a brewery that allows small batch brewing. There is a little shop up the road from where I reside that you can make wine and beer, you store it there, you bottle it there and it really becomes quite the lovely little day trip spread out over a couple days. You get to have some drinks while you make it, and honestly I have never been legally allowed to drive home from this place ever, so it’s worth every dollar! Best of all, the cost that you would spend on a couple good bottles of scotch, you leave with a case or more of wine and a good large selection of beers to store away in the man cave for later consumption! Great gift idea, it’s not a “World’s Greatest Dad mug” or an ashtray made in art class for your Dad who hasn’t smoked a thing since Woodstock 94 let alone something that wasn’t out of a cored out apple or a half dented beer can riddled with a dormant case of the herp!
Now, I know I just poked fun at the “world’s greatest dad” mug merely three ish sentences ago, but I would point in a mirror and call myself a dirty liar if I were to tell anyone of you that mugs or stereotypical father’s day gifts sucked. They don’t. Those corny gifts are truly what can really make your kids day. Sure they made you a picture that looks like it could be any cross between big foot riding naked rabbi to a purple fire truck spraying a puke gun all over a massive field of burning candy canes, but when you act happy as a pig in poop, hang their picture for the world to see and tell them almost daily until next father’s day that its easily comparable to the Sistine Chapel, they will be on cloud nine every single day. When they get older and somehow either look back, or realize exactly what you did and how their art skills was similar to that of a blind drunk man with sidewalk chalk, they will love you even more. You made their world the center of yours! Your kids are why you wake up every day. They drive you to succeed in life. You set examples, you shell out life lessons, and you mold them. That is of course unless you don’t actually care about them ooor these very words are blurry due to your current intoxication. In that case disregard everything I just said. Ask them for a sixer of bud heavy and a nice quiet Monday afternoon alone. That’s the best father’s day present ever! Most Dads just want to see the joy of their kids, feel appreciation and have a day worry free. I am not even one of those Dads who want to be left alone on father’s day. In fact, I would prefer to spend the day with the creation that allows me to participate in father’s day festivities. I would like to go out to dinner at some restaurant that is slightly out of the norm for me but still accepting of a family domestic caused by a flipped plate, or gum being smeared in a siblings hair and the subsequent melt down that should ensue thereafter. I like baseball games, hot dogs, bbq’s and stress free. I surely like a BBQ that I can watch from my phone…..no really….. I do. So Erin, dear….if you’re reading this. Go take out a home equity loan and buy me that grill and wrap it in paper that the kids drew on for me. I will gladly hang every one of their puking fire trucks around the house to stare at for hours at a time while I monitor the pork roast from my cell phone!
That is all friends…. I hope that I have shed some rationally irrational light on the mind of a 33 year old man child for gift ideas for father’s day! If not, go forth and try and figure this crap out on your own!!